Okej, haven't written anything in awhile and since I promised my girls that I would write something I better do it ;) My life is quite hectic at the moment and I'm one week in the south and one week in Umeå. On thursday I'm going to France to visit Mélanie and Peter and I'm really looking forward to that trip :D
Tonight we said goodbye to Mickan before she is leaving for Åre <3
Now I'm leaving Umeå for a while. Before I come back I should be almost done with my project and I've been in France to visit Mélanie and Peter:) I really do need to get away, to think of me. I hate the fact that Umeå now is whre I feel the most sad. And I really don't know why because I have my lovely friends here that means so much to me and I'm not alone. I just want this sadness to go away :/
Ehm, how come there are no buses what so ever after 23.25 here in Umeå? Isn't that weird? I know its in the middle of the week but come on! Can the latest bus atleast be at midnight or? I'm not going to make the last bus so I'll guess I'll walk. The funniest thing is that on the website it actually says that one mode of transportation leaves at 23.50. And thats walking!! They even have an estimated time of arrival (+ 1 minute to be on the safe side). 2.3 km, arrival 00.23... Haha, you can't do anything but laugh :)
Anyways, the reason I'm not going to be able to catch the last bus is because I'm watching Harry Potter tonight :D Looking forward to it! :D
This is the best tea! Lady Gray, yummy... Give it a try!
Some toast with cheese and tea infront of the TV. Its dark and cold outside. Best of all is if you spend the evening with someone you love... I do like winter!
From a Stockholm with 3 degrees and snow/rain I'm welcomed to Umeå with sun, -12 degrees and snow. Lovely! But it is cold in my room though so I'm trying to get warm with some tea and my warm scarf around me... Its working :p With Love!
What a day! Lets just say that I've been running around the whole day... Totally worth it though ;) So now I don't even know what I'm still doing up? Nitenite!
By the way, I think some guys are just plain annoying and thats all I have to say about that :p
To quote Elvis: "You are always on my mind" But today it actually feels okej. Its not like I want to cry or just lie in my bed doing nothing. He is always there, knocking for attention but for now I feel calm.
Jho, at the moment I'm not in blogging mood. I'm to tired to write anything when I get home after spending the whole day in Stockholm. I'm running around trying to arrange the exhibition and its exhausting to say the least...
Today I took a day off and went with mommy to Skärholmen.
We came home with alot of stuff and I got new jeans (I fell inlove right away!). They took my measurements at Carlings aswell and apparently I'm suppose to buy Levi's Bold, this is mostly a reminder to myself:p Anyways, bought a scarf and new shoes too...
I think I need to play that Pearlgame on daddys Iphone 4 tonight, I'm hooked :p With Love!
Today its raining so its feels a little offputting to go out. But. I'm leaving for the bus in 10 minutes. Going to spend the day in the capital, don't really know how I will structure the day but I'll figure something out :) I have alternatives so... I think it might be a long day actually because I might have a little meeting or something later.
Its funny, I always wake up at 4ish these days. I finally fall asleep again after some time but its boring :/ Tomorrow I'm going to sleep!!! Saturday :)
I just had a lovely night with girls and children. We had to much to eat and even more to talk about. There is a party and a christening coming up and we do have plans. What can I say, just nice to see everyone again, we need to get together more often before we are once again separated.
Now I'm tired but I think I wouldn't fall asleep for awhile anyway so I rather sit here for some time... With Love!
And I just find Daniel Adams-Ray to be the coolest name. His music might not be what I like to listen to and his name might not be so very uncommon. But I just find it interesting and cool, I don't know why... But then again, I know I sometimes find weird stuff lekka so its all good :)
I feel abit like Blondinbella when I'm sitting here with a cup of tea and my computer on the table. But in fact, I'm not at all busy like she is, I'm just sitting here waiting for daddy to drive me home. The weather here in Stockholm is terrible. Why can't it just be like in Umeå where the sun is shining and its cold enough to keep the snow snowy? Here its raining/snowing and the streets are filled with water/snow in a complete mess. Eish, I love winter but definitly not this kind of winter.
Luckily I'm finally inside and its warm here and I have my tea. With Love!
I was literally freezing my a** off so I decided to buy a new jacket. Enough is enough. But now I have to live on a strict budget the rest of this month... I will make it, I've done it before!
The day has been cool so far. Everyone in school shared their plans for the project, everything sounds so interesting... Good thing that we all get to read it :)
A couple of days I watched Invictus with the guys in my corridor. I'm sorry to say that I found the movie a bit of a cliché and I think the film could have been so much better. However, that doesn't take away the fact that Nelson Mandela is an extraordinary person! Its amazing how someone that had been put in prison doesn't come out with a feeling of hate but of reconciliation. People need to think more like that...
The film also left me with a strong urge to visit SA. The pictures of lovely Cape Town makes me feel home and my heart is filled with warmth. I need to go back soon!!
I woke up at 5 am today. I had a dream. A dream about you...
Today is the last day of school and intro for our new course which means planning an exhibition on my part. 10-12, then I'm going home packing. Tomorrow I'm leaving for the south... Tonight I'm going to Eve. And the sun is shining. This will be a good day!
Jo, its half past 12 already!! Spent the whole morning on my computer. Now I just took a shower and I guess I have to go make myself something to eat. Today I will clean and wash some clothes. Leaving on tuesday and I want the room to be clean when I do. The weather outside is crap so this is a perfect day do spend inside...
What a nice day this has been! I woke up and as the sun was shining I decided to take a walk. I had to do some errands so I got dressed and took a walk to Strömpilen. I had just got home when Mattias smsed me about our fika. I went there and we drank coffee, talked and watched football. Lazy perfect afternoon!! Now I'm home again and since I'm going to have an evening infront of the TV I think that I have to go buy some snacks...
My goal: To be able to be by myself without falling apart. I will never be able to delete my memories and my thoughts, I don't want to... I just have to learn how to handle them.
Picture this: As you walk on the red carpet you are blinded by the cameras. The aula in school is decorated beyond recognition. You are 18. Everyone is looking smart in their dresses and jackets. Behind the stage there is a big castle and the waiters and waitresses are all dressed in white. The theme is Arabian Nights. The food is finished and the dessert has been eaten. The floor is emptied and the music starts. This song comes on:
The guy that had made you knees weak during assembly and that held speaches that moved you comes up to you. Him and you dance.
Its not a slow song, its not the most romantic. But for my young heart it made my night and I will always think of that when I hear it. This is still one of the best nights of my life, not only because of this but because of the fairytale. My life is not a fairytale but for this evening it was.
Nothing is like this feeling of complete. When the course is done, your papers are handed in and your books are read. I love these short days. On monday it starts again but for now I'm just going to enjoy this weekend.
Just came home from Ivan, a classmate, where I spent the whole evening. At 4ish me and almost the rest of the class gathered at his place for some fika, we had a lovely time and they are so nice to talk to. It was nice to talk of something else but school for a little while. When they had to go I decided to stay since I didn't have any plans for the evening. We played Mario Kart on Wii, my first time.. It was hard!!!
New day and it's snowning outside :) Today I'm going to hand everything in so I have about 5 hours to finish. But I'll manage. After that I'm going to Ivan for fika with almost the rest of the class. Its going to be nice to hang some outside school aswell :) So from 3 pm this afternoon I'm officially free. No more reading, no more writing, atleast for a while. On tuesday I'm going back to my parents house to do my project there... Studytime! With Love!
Every now and then I need to get stuff out. I will probably bore you with this for a while now and I'm sorry. Yesterday I took a decision that was hard. No more talking to him before I find myself in this mess. I'm going to make it, I'm sure I will and I know that when I'm ready he is there to be my friend. That should make my heart calm. But somehow it doesn't, at least not for now. Its a battle to see him on Facebook, its hard to not write to him. But I hope that if I get past these first crappy days it will feel much easier. But its going to take some time. I'm still angry and sad, thats the worst thing... I can't seem to make my mind up about my feelings and that is killing me. I was angry, now I'm more sad.
But lets face it, I'm going to try to put my heart back together again, piece by piece and that takes time. Because right now its in DC and I know that I shouldn't leave it there.
After a day where the only thing I produced was 2 pages of nonsense I'm soon going to bed hoping that my studymood will be better tomorrow. Or else I will force it to. I don't feel 100% lekker today and I just hope that it will pass soon. I'm so over it :p And I just want it to be weekend for some reason. For some reason I see the weekend as my goal, I'm going to be fit for fight again. I miss being social, after only three days, jeez. The other stuff will be with me but its killing me when I'm forced to be by myself in my room... I need to live!
Home today again and it sucks. I have to finish alot of stuff for friday and I'm a bit stress. But I know that it will work with a little good luck and alot of stubbornness I'm sure I can make it. Lets start with Bourdieu... With Love!
I cried for you. You don't know how many times I did, I still do... And I am missing you and I still love you. But I don't understand the way you are thinking. That makes me very angry and when I'm angry I cry. You make me hurt. First you come here complaining about money making me feel bad for you, then you go on a weekend. What the hell is that? I know now what's important to you and I never were since a week with me was to much to ask for. But I should have known, this is what you always do. I can't believe I let myself accept that... I'm going to find myself a man that atleast makes me feel important! This is still very very very hard but for every time you make me angry you make it a little bit easier...
Today I feel like a person again, almost. But that also mean that I start thinking of other stuff, eish :/ I managed to eat some this morning and now I'm watching Project Runway before I have to start reading Gender Trouble. I'm not going to miss tomorrows seminar, that is for sure!
By the way, I just love Christian in Project Runway. He is just the coolest and he makes me laugh :)
Eish, this has been the worst day in a long time, I've never been this sick (accept one time but thats a different story:p) in my entire life. Uack! Spend the whole day in bed and at times I was too exhausted to even watch TV... Its times like these that I miss not living at home or close to my parents. I miss the fact that there you have everything that you need plus you are never alone. For the fear of maknig the rest of the corridor sick I'm staying in my room the whole day, tomorrow will probably be the same, I'll miss out in school but I don't feel like feeling sick and infecting the rest of the class. Luckily I have nice corridormates and they will buy me a coke and something to eat. My whole body is a mess :( But its much better now, I can even sit up and write this :p But now I'm tired again :/
I feel sick today. And I still have to do some studying. Eish... I hope it will go rather quick. I was doing nothing yesterday so I must do something today. Good thing is that I kind of got an idea about what to write so I will get there...
Den här bloggen är jag. Den kan ibland vara fylld med känslor och tankar men är lika glad och virrig som jag kan vara.
Jag älskar min familj och mina vänner, engelska böcker, olympiska spelen, fikabröd, höstlöv, att dansa, promenader, Morgonpasset i P3, ost, träna, snö, skidåkning och att sjunga i duschen.
Jag ogillar hat, kapris, när mitt nagellack flagnar, att stressa, orättvisor, att hänga tvätt, människor utan respekt och fötter på tågsäten.
Välkommen till mitt lilla hörn i en stor värld.
